Guardian Shaadi
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Guardian Shaadi [userpic]

Normally I'd say I hate Valentine's Day, but this year's different. Recieved a reply text message from spideyjc when I woke up this morning and it really made my day. Other than that, this day can rot in hell for all I care. No one should need a frekin holiday to show someone how much they mean to them -_-; specially if they truly love that person.

Meme Stolen from Flist
If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?

(Now post this in your LJ and find out what mine would be.)

So yeah, in kind of a shitty mood right now thanks to my mom, though it's not for a typical reason for once. I spent most of today trying to fall asleep since for the fourth day in a row I keep waking myself up at 7 am -_-; and no matter how hard I try to fall asleep after that, it just doesn't happen. So yeah, I fell asleep about three this afternoon till about five, and would have slept a hell of a lot longer if my mom hadn't woken me up. Apparently she was going to give me something, but now I won't get it... -twitch-

She's mad at me because I pushed her hand off my back when I was sleeping and that made her mad. I'm like, okay? How do you think I feel? I'm mean christ >< HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE: "YOU DO NOT TOUCH ME FOR ANY REASON WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?! ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M SLEEPING!!!!!!!!!!!1111" ><

And as long as we're talking about my mother, this post angered me even more. It's not the content of said post, but it's the fact that I never got the chance to know her before she died, and that's something I still greatly resent my mother for. Why do I resent my mother you ask? Because Blu died during one of the times I lost internet access and I didn't know about it until a little over a month later. Even now, I still can't really process the fact that the event even occured. To me, it was like losing Eirk all over again... There's been a lot of Blu nostalgia going around my friends' lj's lately - for those people who knew her anyway.

Banner by indilime

Oh and indilime - given your run in with idiots on your icon journal, I can't help but requote this from Blu: I dunno Indy...the freaks on the internet are obsessed with you these days... Only substitute freaks for idiots. XD Actually found that again just before you made that rant post in your lj.

Speaking of Erik though... I'm slowly letting go and allowing myself to love someone else. Someone I didn't think I would ever love, but I've begun to realize lately that if I don't let go of Erik, I will always be consumed in this pain and will always be afraid to love another because I was never able to be with the someone I loved more than anything in this world. And this particular person has been in my life since about Erik left it, so I'm extremely grateful to him. No matter what it is I'm feeling or going through, I can always count on him to bring a smile to my face. And strangely enough, today was the first day I was able to say 'I love you' to him and truly mean it and feel it in my heart. Someday when I am able, I want to move closer to him. And until that moment, I'd still want to at least go down there and meet him face to face for the first time... -marowr stfu's-

Mental Checklist

Watch SPD ep.3
Rewatch YGO GX ep19 (avi)

Request eps of:

Onmyou Taisenki (Ep.12)
Full Moon wo Sagashite (Ep.13, 15, 18, 21)
Tenjou (Ep.1, 4)

Finish Downloading:

Bleach ep.14
Elfen Lied ep.6

anyway, that's all for now!
This is ZAC signing out <3
Feeling this Blind Emotion: calmcalm